Josie Diels

The most popular questions I am asked in my current state are:

How are you feeling?

Do you have any cravings?

What are you going to eat after you give birth (since there is a list of foods pregnant women can’t or shouldn’t eat)?

Do you know what you are having?

Do you have a name picked out?

Are you staying in your apartment?

Where are you having the baby?

The answers to these are all posts unto themselves.  So I’ll start with the first today. I feel fine. I feel good physically. For someone with really skewed self image issues about how big / fat I think have been in the past, it is strange to hear so often, “you look small.” That is a first for me. And it also makes me think about my past body image stuff.  Clothes that were more fitted on me that I haven’t been able to wear really did get tight on me at a certain point, but when it became time to put them on hold, I thought about how I often think those clothes are “probably too small” in some way.  But I realized they really weren’t. On a similar note, I seem to have a lot of tops that are working even in my 7th month, which means I wear a lot of loose clothes–partly these are the styles coming out, but I also have to wonder if I opt for these looser garments because I am trying to hide something.

For now, I am limited to 5 outfits but after the arrival of bebe, and I am back to a “normal” size, I want to take this awareness with me and try to have a healthier, more positive, and possibly more realistic attitude about how I walk in this world.